Sparkle

Our congregation has a tradition of handing out stars with a single word on them on Epiphany or the Sunday closest to Epiphany. A couple of weeks ago, I was one of a handful of people asked to reflect on the prior year’s star.  Following is what I shared:

"I look forward to receiving my Epiphany star every year.  I love the randomness of it.  I don’t feel I’m meant for any particular star.  I think any one of those stars in that basket is meant for any one of us.  Even years when I wasn’t initially excited about the word I had received, I found meaning in the word as the year progressed—meaning I hadn’t even considered. 

The word on my star last year was Contemplation. My initial reaction was more centering prayer, more writing.  How wonderful!  I put my star on the refrigerator and neither of those things happened—no centering prayer and very little writing. What DID happen was more listening, less immediate reaction to things. Sometimes it might have appeared I had NO reaction to things.  But that is never the case for me…I’m still contemplating.  I suppose it has been a good year to practice contemplation.  I found myself doing more listening to understand and less listening to respond.  When I’m listening to form a response, I actually stop listening.  I stop looking for Christ in you. I still have some work to do on contemplation, but I am excited to get a new star today. 

When you get your star today, put aside your initial reaction to the word, good or bad.  Put aside what you THINK that word means for you.  Go home, put it somewhere you will see it frequently and pay attention to what that word is revealing to you.  Contemplate it.  Share it with us next year.”

What I forgot to add is that I don’t make New Year’s resolutions…they don’t work for me.  I have found the single word to be more effective practice. No pressure, no obligation.  I even love the conversations that happen on Facebook about whether this is even worthwhile practice.  Especially, when the word you get feels more like a punch to the gut than something inspirational.  It’s purely random.  And I see it as an opportunity look for grace in my life, even if the word is perplexing to me. Some years it works, some years it doesn’t. I always put my star on the refrigerator. Some years it’s prominent, some years it disappears behind school announcements and calendars.

This year I got the word Sparkle.  Huh?! It made me smile for a minute. And then I thought about glitter. And the song from the musical Billy Elliot, Shine: "Give 'em the old razzle dazzle...And shine". I don’t love glitter or sparkle…I don’t love drawing attention to myself, really.  I wasn’t following the advice I had just dispensed a few minutes earlier: "put aside what you THINK the word means for you.”  I pinned the star on my shirt and got lots of smiles from people and was told I do sparkle. And the group creating this year’s stars had a conversation about whether sparkle was really a gift of the spirit and wondered who would get it. I went home, put the star on my fridge and went on with the day.  But I keep coming back to it…it has me perplexed.  It’s whimsical, yes, but what if sparkle is something deeper.  And why do so many people agree that sparkle is a good word for me?  What am I not seeing?

 My family thinks that sparkle is a reminder to be chipper when I get up in the morning.  I’m going to let you in on a secret—I’ve been on this planet for a few months shy of a half century, and I am not a chipper morning person.  As in please don’t try to have a conversation with me.  Chipper is NOT what sparkle is saying to me. 

The more I think about the word sparkle I think about how it’s light reflecting off of surfaces.  How the ocean seems to dance when the sunlight hits it.  How tiny shards of glass reflect light.  How light shines brightest in the dark. 

I received as a gift for Christmas a large sign that says, “Be the Light.”  I hung it in my office so I could see it as a constant reminder.  I have a job for which I earn a living, but the sign serves as a reminder that my REAL job is to reflect the light around me Sometimes the light is hard to see…sometimes it’s just a glimmer, a sparkle.  So, for me, this year, sparkle means I’m going to go looking for the light and tell you about it.  Sparkle means I’m going to spend the year making observations and writing about them, even if it’s only a few sentences.  Sparkle is my accountability this year.  I feel lighter when I’ve been listening and writing.     Finding light in the darkness is not a Pollyanna approach to life.  We live in dark times.  Some days I must look hard to find light, but it’s there.  You can help keep me accountable.  If I haven’t posted anything for a while, ask me “where have you seen light lately?”  That will be my gentle reminder. Where does life sparkle for you?  Who makes you sparkle?