Conversations in the Car with Coach

This picture captured the moment I knew my boy was going to be OK in high school. A spontaneous moment with heads bowed before a race, they weren’t praying to win but for strength of body and mind along the way.  My boy had found his tribe—the cross country team, a group of hard-working, high-achievers.  They’ve all learned something most runners eventually learn: the hard work of running translates into real life.  Plugging away at something that doesn’t show immediate results or give instant gratification is hard, but the payoff can be big somewhere down the road (or cross country trail).

The leader of this “tribe” is Coach T.  Quiet and unassuming, he is the unsung hero of this team and decades of other teams who have run long before my boy was even crawling.  He frequently stands at the edge of the race course and quietly encourages his runners as they go by. He gives them advice and suggests subtle tweaks to their form.  They listen because you can see their posture change as they run by.  I’ve thoroughly enjoyed watching him coach my boy, taking his awkward gait to a runner’s form. I find myself wishing Coach could fix my form.  He has been the cross country and track coach since my son’s high school opened.  You can’t go far in this area without running into someone who knows him or knows someone who does.  Kevin Bacon has six degrees of separation, but I’d bet Coach T has TWO degrees of separation.  Coach has an incredible memory.  He remembers a kid’s PR whether it was last season or a season 20 years ago.

Last Spring, at a meet, Coach T collapsed. In the days that followed, he had a stroke. He fought his way back all summer --fighting his way back to coaching the cross country team this fall.  His speech, mobility and cognitive abilities were left intact after the stroke.  That’s pretty amazing.  He does have a complication that prevents him from driving for the time-being. But he isn’t finished coaching.  Parents have been taking turns driving him to factor appointments and to and from practices. He is so grateful for the support.  He jokes that it’s too bad he had to have a stroke to realize how big his support network is. He thanks me profusely (and I’m sure everyone else who helps him) every time I pick him up.  I’m the one who should be thanking him.  It occurred to me yesterday when he was showing me the huge maple tree in his backyard that during all of these car rides, he is telling me his story. Tell me your story.. He has lived in his house since he was 10 years old. They moved here from Ohio, and they brought the maple tree with them to have something from ‘home’ in their yard. That tree takes up a large portion of the backyard now. Tell me your story.

As most of you know, I could talk all day about running.  So can Coach T.  He always asks me about how MY training is going, my current weekly mileage, my long run distance.  I told him I was starting to become tired at this point in the training.  He reminded me that races aren’t won in November, they are won in June and July.  He’s wise—and right.  That reminder made it easier for me to get up this morning and run 9 miles. In a way, my wish to have him coach me, came true.  If I could just get my left leg to not look so wonky on turnover…

I sense Coach T is beginning to wonder how he can keep coaching if he continues to be dependent on us to get him to and from practices and events (and, oh, he is the voice of the football games on Friday nights).  He desperately wants to stick with this group of kids through their senior year.  He sees the potential in them and wants to see it come to fruition.  I don’t know if that’s possible—I really hope it is—but if it isn’t, I know these kids have already learned more from Coach than running.  Things that will stay with them, no matter who their running coach is.  We will keep driving him as long we can. Until the day comes that he decides he can’t coach, I will continue to look forward to hearing more of his story in my car. Tell me your story, Coach.

How Can She Call Herself a Christian?

An update: the text that follows is a piece I wrote for my church blog.  In the weeks and months that have followed, dozens of you, from both sides of the aisle, have reached out to me to tell me how much you identified with what I had to say.  I am humbled and grateful that these words continue to spark conversation.  That tells me we all have so much more in common with one another than we thought. We just need to listen.  The political campaign season, in full swing, has become longer and LOUDER.  I continue to listen for candidates who speak the language of grace:

“If she is a [insert political label], how can she call herself a Christian?!?”  That question was asked in bewilderment about me during a conversation for which I was not present.  After I heard about this conversation, I spent days pondering what my response might have been, had I been present.  I’m far better expressing myself through the written word than the spoken word, so I find myself grateful that I’ve had the gift of time to formulate a response.  My knee jerk response was 1) God probably isn’t concerned about my vote and 2) God probably isn’t even particularly concerned whether I am American.  That does not mean I do not appreciate or feel passionately about either of those things. They just probably are not at the top of God’s list of important things—the things Christ taught us about His kingdom while he was here.

In Matthew 22:36-40 (NRSV), Jesus teaches us about the most important commandments: ³⁶ “Teacher, which commandment in the law is the greatest?” ³⁷ He said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ ³⁸ This is the greatest and first commandment. ³⁹ And a second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ ⁴⁰ On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.” Every decision I make, I ask myself, am I loving God and am I loving my neighbor?

In Matthew 25:34-40 (NRSV), Jesus tells us how to love God and Neighbor:    “³⁴ Then the king will say to those at his right hand, ‘Come, you that are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world; ³⁵ for I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, ³⁶ I was naked and you gave me clothing, I was sick and you took care of me, I was in prison and you visited me.’ ³⁷ Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when was it that we saw you hungry and gave you food, or thirsty and gave you something to drink? ³⁸ And when was it that we saw you a stranger and welcomed you, or naked and gave you clothing? ³⁹ And when was it that we saw you sick or in prison and visited you?’ ⁴⁰ And the king will answer them, ‘Truly I tell you, just as you did it to one of the least of these who are members of my family,  you did it to me.’” Every ballot I cast, I ask myself if my decision is helping the least of these or hurting the least of these.

In John 21:15-17 (NRSV), Jesus gives further instruction: “¹⁵ When they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?” He said to him, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.” Jesus said to him, “Feed my lambs.” ¹⁶ A second time he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” He said to him, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.” Jesus said to him, “Tend my sheep.” ¹⁷ He said to him the third time, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” Peter felt hurt because he said to him the third time, “Do you love me?” And he said to him, “Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you.” Jesus said to him, “Feed my sheep.”  I have written previously about how this passage speaks to me and how it has shaped my life.  Every lever I pull, I ask myself if I am feeding His sheep.

So you see, I don’t make my decisions in the absence of Christ.  He is fully present with me in that booth.  He is fully present with me everywhere I go.

Our son is about to be confirmed into the Church.  As we review the PCUSA Study Catechism: Confirmation Version, the first two questions speak loudly to me:

Question 1:  What is God’s purpose for your life?  God wills that I should live by the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, for the love of God,  and in the communion of the Holy Spirit.

Question 2: How do you live by the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ? I am not my own.  I have been bought with a price. The Lord Jesus Christ loved me and gave himself for me.  I entrust myself completely to his care, giving thanks each day for his wonderful goodness.

Do I get it right every day? Absolutely not.  Some days, I fail abysmally. Those are the days Christ saves me from myself.  But through Christ, I get up each day with a new start—with gratitude for his grace.  What does gratitude for God’s grace look like in my life?  It looks an awful lot like urban gardening, block parties, health and wellness initiatives in underserved areas, living in community with this congregation and telling stories.  I don’t do these things because they are good things to do.  I do them out of profound gratitude for the grace bestowed upon me through Christ.  These things I do, they are like air for me.  I am CALLED to do these things, in my breathing in and my breathing out. How I vote, begins to seem trivial when it is stacked up against those things. My call may not look your call.  That’s OK.  That is what makes us the body of Christ.

So how do I call myself a Christian?  Through God’s abundant grace.  It is for all of us.  In Christ, there is no conservative, no liberal.  No left, no right.  No American, no non-American. We are brothers and sisters.  We belong to one another.  We don’t have to vote the same way to sit in communion.  There is room for all of us at Christ’s table.  Christ’s table is the perfect place to tell our stories.  Tell me your story, and I will tell you mine.

May all of you know the love of Christ.  May His peace dwell in your hearts and call you to serve in gratitude.  May the peace of Christ be with you.